Written by Mockarena // May 26, 2011 // Money Rocks //
So, guess what you’re spending your tax dollars on?
Farmville, music videos, and March Madness.
I’m not making this up. You can read Senator Coburn’s entire study at the sourcelink, which features an investigative report on the National Science Foundation (NSF). In the report, Coburn provides examples of the research studies that our tax dollars have paid for, and they are MINDNUMBINGLY STUPID.
Let’s review.
1. Facebook’s Farmville game was studied by the NSF at a cost of $315,000 to taxpayers, in order to determine whether playing it helps adults develop and maintain relationships. Seriously. They seriously spent our money to do this.
2. IU-Bloomington and NY University got ONE MILLION DOLLARS from us to analyze baby names, only to conclude that popular names are popular. Yup – that seems like money well spent, doesn’t it? Thanks, NSF, for letting us know that people follow trends. That is GROUNDBREAKING.
3. Some chick at UC-Davis got 50k to create a website that shows music videos about science. The songs include such masterpieces as “Money 4 Drugz” and “Biogas is a Gas, Gas, Gas.” The purpose? To “support a broader network of scientists, teachers, and songwriters, and that will support testing of the most effective ways to use music to increase understanding of scientific concepts and natural history.” And just look at the lyrics of Money 4 Drugz. Obviously, they increase understanding of scientific concepts, you guys. Don’t you see?
Working in the lab is a pretty sweet gig / The people are smart and the toys are really big / But we can’t be chill when our homies are ill / So we write a new proposal to create another pill / If you have malaria we wanna take care o’ ya / And if we succeed then no one has to bury ya / And so we beg for grants, even though it’s so demeaning / ‘Cause you need a good stash for a high-throughput screening
Chorus: We need money for drugs / We ain’t no thugs / But it takes more funds / To kill more bugs (parasites yo!) We start with expression of recombinant protein / A soluble product is a reason for emoting / We quantify its function and look for inhibitors / And find the delimiters of active-site perimeter/ When the SAR is leaving us baffled / We call in the chemists to create a new scaffold / It’s not like making meth—it’s really hard to do it / But we’ve got to break through to a brand-new therapeutic/ Chorus (repeat and fade)
I don’t know about you all, but I am totally dumber for having read that.
4. Duke University got 80k from NSF to come to the EARTHSHATTERING CONCLUSION that really good college basketball programs attract the best players. I’m not kidding. Against all logic and reason, it turns out that really good players like playing for the best teams. CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT?!?!?!
5. The College of Charleston, SC got almost $600,000 to see how well shrimp can walk on a treadmill. And yes, you read that right.
There are countless more examples, you guys. And they get more and more ridiculous. The whole report is worth your time to read, if only to get you riled up enough to stay angry and engaged and ready to vote anyone willing to spend money on this nonsense out of office in the next election
Written by Mockarena // May 26, 2011 // Money Rocks // http://chicksontheright.com/2011/05/26/oh-thank-god-15/
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